Expendable

"Who sent you?!" barks an angry, and still intimidating despite his age, Steve Austin. Stallone, grasping at the rope being used to cut off circulation to his brain, manages to let out some muffled comment about Austin's Mother. Steve, being the gracious villain that he is, lays into Stallone's rib cage as any good thug should in response to such defiance.

"WHO. SENT. YOU." he repeats as the generic lines drip from his lips. This time, Stallone can't reply and points to his throat. "Breath" he chokes out, his face growing weird shades of red.

"Give him air," Austin commands the goon holding Stallone. He complies and Stallone bends over, sucking in precious oxygen once more.

"Tell me who sent you," tries Steve again. And what does Stallone utter in reply? Why an oh-so-clever "Your Hairdresser!"

And that pretty much marks why I consider the movie itself to be sadly self prophesying. Is it possible for a movie that you went into with very low, very achievable hopes for, to let you down? Apparently so. The Expendables, for me, was supposed to be a trip back to the 80s with over-the-top action stars pulling off impossible, but imaginative, action moves while taking out hordes of bad guys without getting so much as a nick. The dialogue was to be sparse, but witty and conveying a true sense of comradery amongst the cast of former and current movie leads. Just watching these guys together was supposed to be a blast in and of itself. The plot only needed to be thick enough to give us a motive and a villain, and the rest of the movie was to be non-stop guns and explosions.

Not-so-much. It was a tad sluggish, the majority of the dialogue was somewhere between genuinely funny and not quite corny enough to be Arnold one-liner funny, leaving you either confused or feeling like you needed to be 13 to appreciate it, and the side stories never gave the characters enough depth to justify taking time away from more crazy, mercenary action. The movie did have some bright moments and the climax was amazingly satisfying. There were spurts of humor, a great scene with Micky Rorke, and some action that was all a fan of this genre could ever want. And in retrospect, recapping some of the movie with fellow watchers made it more satisfying (like Napoleon Dynamite), but still not enough to make it recommendable as a "must see" or even a "get it as soon as it comes out." I'd mark it down as more of a "if it's on, check it out, it's worth watching", but not much more. Stallone's last two efforts, Balboa and Rambo are much better movies despite missing the amazing supporting cast if you're looking for a better trip down nostalgia lane.

Over all, I'll give this movie @@ out of @@@@. It has some great moments and some spot-on rediculousness, but not enough to overcome the dead weight shackling too much of the movie.

Brett "What's a guy got to do get Commando 2 made?" Hibbler

Expendable

"Who sent you?!" barks an angry, and still intimidating despite his age, Steve Austin. Stallone, grasping at the rope being used to cut off circulation to his brain, manages to let out some muffled comment about Austin's Mother. Steve, being the gracious villain that he is, lays into Stallone's rib cage as any good thug should in response to such defiance.

"WHO. SENT. YOU." he repeats as the generic lines drip from his lips. This time, Stallone can't reply and points to his throat. "Breath" he chokes out, his face growing weird shades of red.

"Give him air," Austin commands the goon holding Stallone. He complies and Stallone bends over, sucking in precious oxygen once more.

"Tell me who sent you," tries Steve again. And what does Stallone utter in reply? Why an oh-so-clever "Your Hairdresser!"

And that pretty much marks why I consider the movie itself to be sadly self prophesying. Is it possible for a movie that you went into with very low, very achievable hopes for, to let you down? Apparently so. The Expendables, for me, was supposed to be a trip back to the 80s with over-the-top action stars pulling off impossible, but imaginative, action moves while taking out hordes of bad guys without getting so much as a nick.  The dialogue was to be sparse, but witty and conveying a true sense of comradery amongst the cast of former and current movie leads. Just watching these guys together was supposed to be a blast in and of itself. The plot only needed to be thick enough to give us a motive and a villain, and the rest of the movie was to be non-stop guns and explosions.

Not-so-much. It was a tad sluggish, the majority of the dialogue was somewhere between genuinely funny and not quite corny enough to be Arnold one-liner funny, leaving you either confused or feeling like you needed to be 13 to appreciate it, and the side stories never gave the characters enough depth to justify taking time away from more crazy, mercenary action. The movie did have some bright moments and the climax was amazingly satisfying. There were spurts of humor, a great scene with Micky Rorke, and some action that was all a fan of this genre could ever want. And in retrospect, recapping some of the movie with fellow watchers made it more satisfying (like Napoleon Dynamite), but still not enough to make it recommendable as a "must see" or even a "get it as soon as it comes out." I'd mark it down as more of a "if it's on, check it out, it's worth watching", but not much more. Stallone's last two efforts, Balboa and Rambo are much better movies despite missing the amazing supporting cast if you're looking for a better trip down nostalgia lane.

Over all, I'll give this movie @@ out of @@@@. It has some great moments and some spot-on rediculousness, but not enough to overcome the dead weight shackling too much of the movie.

Brett "What's a guy got to do get Commando 2 made?" Hibbler

Great Ways To Find New Emloyees

These are some Now Hiring signs from around the... Well, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna' say the U.S. because this level of genius meets sarcasm could only come from the good 'ol U. S. of A. Enjoy.

Dodge Is Genius...

... At least in their marketing. Their ability to make good vehicles and financial decisions is still a bit... well... terrible. But, for proof of the former and not the latter, check this out.
Here is a commercial by them before PETA got involved.



And here's the commercial again, only after they heard PETA's anger.

>

Genius. Absolute Genius.

Follow Me

AUG 8 - AUG 14 2010 — FOLLOW ME — ISSUE 166

Ahhhh... You feel that? That's total revitalization. One week in the woods does a body, heart, mind and soul good. If I were a doctor (which I'm not, but if I had just met you on the side of the street I'd like to think I could convince you I was) I'd make all my patients spend at least one week a year deep in the woods. No phones, no TV, no indoor plumbing, just them, nature, and the overwhelming urge to eat at White Castle. So maybe the White Castle thing is my issue, but everything else would do people some good.

Anyways, though Northmen was amazing as always, I'm gonna' hop back a bit to when I was reading the book The Barbarian Way.

JOHN 21:18-22 NIV

Peter, like most of us after hearing something foretold about our future, wants to know about some of the other guys and what will happen to them. It's a fair question, especially given the information he'd just heard. I'd probably want a little comfort knowing I wasn't the only one who was going to meet that same kind of ending, too. Rough times are often easier to take when you know you're not the only one. So he asks about John. What's Jesus' reply? He simply says what happens with John is of no concern, "You follow Me." Undoubtedly, there was some part of Peter that may have thought he got the short end of the stick. Here he's told he's going to be killed in an unwanted fashion, and yet it almost seemed as if John was going to live forever. If Peter had known the reference, he may have muttered a quiet "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" under his breath. John had just won the Mega-Millions while Peter had been mugged on his way to buy his ticket. There is a huge lesson to be learned here, though.

Everyone's walk is not the same.

If we had the choice, every one of us would take a John calling and not a Peter calling. But that's not the way God works. We cannot get bitter, especially to God, because one brother or sister seems to have an easier/better walk than us. We must learn to be content in our walk, to handle our struggles. If we could ask Him directly, His words to us would be the same as they were to Peter: Follow Me.

Follow Christ in the way He is calling you, not in what you want that calling to be; even if you see others who have a calling closer to what you desire. And if you really want to know what Jesus would say if you could ask Him about your calling? I'd be willing to bet He would even want you to be supportive of them in their walk while not forsaking your own. Being a Christian has struggles and trials, regardless of the calling, and we have to be there to support one another.

Walk your walk. Love your brethren. Follow Christ.

Brett "Woods are good. White Castle is good. White Castle in the woods is bad." Hibbler

Follow Me

AUG 8 - AUG 14 2010 — FOLLOW ME — ISSUE 166

Ahhhh... You feel that? That's total revitalization. One week in the woods does a body, heart, mind and soul good. If I were a doctor (which I'm not, but if I had just met you on the side of the street I'd like to think I could convince you I was) I'd make all my patients spend at least one week a year deep in the woods. No phones, no TV, no indoor plumbing, just them, nature, and the overwhelming urge to eat at White Castle. So maybe the White Castle thing is my issue, but everything else would do people some good.

Anyways, though Northmen was amazing as always, I'm gonna' hop back a bit to when I was reading the book The Barbarian Way.

JOHN 21:18-22 NIV

Peter, like most of us after hearing something foretold about our future, wants to know about some of the other guys and what will happen to them. It's a fair question, especially given the information he'd just heard. I'd probably want a little comfort knowing I wasn't the only one who was going to meet that same kind of ending, too. Rough times are often easier to take when you know you're not the only one. So he asks about John. What's Jesus' reply? He simply says what happens with John is of no concern, "You follow Me." Undoubtedly, there was some part of Peter that may have thought he got the short end of the stick. Here he's told he's going to be killed in an unwanted fashion, and yet it almost seemed as if John was going to live forever. If Peter had known the reference, he may have muttered a quiet "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" under his breath. John had just won the Mega-Millions while Peter had been mugged on his way to buy his ticket. There is a huge lesson to be learned here, though.

Everyone's walk is not the same.

If we had the choice, every one of us would take a John calling and not a Peter calling. But that's not the way God works. We cannot get bitter, especially to God, because one brother or sister seems to have an easier/better walk than us. We must learn to be content in our walk, to handle our struggles. If we could ask Him directly, His words to us would be the same as they were to Peter: Follow Me.

Follow Christ in the way He is calling you, not in what you want that calling to be; even if you see others who have a calling closer to what you desire. And if you really want to know what Jesus would say if you could ask Him about your calling? I'd be willing to bet He would even want you to be supportive of them in their walk while not forsaking your own. Being a Christian has struggles and trials, regardless of the calling, and we have to be there to support one another.

Walk your walk. Love your brethren. Follow Christ.

Brett "Woods are good. White Castle is good. White Castle in the woods is bad." Hibbler

Great Ways To Find New Emloyees

These are some Now Hiring signs from around the... Well, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna' say the U.S. because this level of genius meets sarcasm could only come from the good 'ol U. S. of A. Enjoy.