"YARGH!" I half muttered as I hung up the phone after a quick conversation with my mother. Why "Yargh?" as my outburst and not something more, well, normal? It's simple. I was deliberately expressing anguish in a very stereotypical fashion given the day's significance. See, today is September 19th, National Talk Like A Pirate Day. Most of you know the odd ways this particularly obscure holiday has popped up in my life, so I'll spare you the re-caps. All you need to know is that even though subconsciously I knew what today was, it never dawned on me until my mother called to remind me. That means I wasted the one day a year when it's cool to talk like an extra on the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie. (I think this is what, the 9th installment of that franchise?) To add to my frustration, I was surrounded by knee nibblers all afternoon who would have totally taken the idea and embraced it, making us the coolest group of kids at the fossil dig.
AAAAAAAAAARGH!
Okay. I think I'm good. For some of you what's coming next will sound familiar, I shared it at Midweek. I haven't expressed the meat God gave me from Luke 14 in written form yet, though, so please indulge me as I get it out in a format I can reference later. It's lengthy, so no hard feelings if you bail and head to this week's agenda for time's sake.
After reading this, most of us probably can't think of a time we went some place and deliberately took a seat of honor. We'd never have the guts to head to the wedding party's table at the reception and grab a seat next to the best man just because we wanted food first. (The thought, yes, but the courage to carry it out, no.) But ask yourself about times when you do try to gain honor on your own, trying to get others to take notice of it rather than waiting for someone else to bestow it on you.
So often we do try to get recognition for something we've done by bringing it up or perhaps subtly manipulation conversations, dropping "seeds" through words, statements, or answers, that will prompt a desired reaction from those we're talking to. Maybe it's as simple as just looking giddy or deliberately excited, knowing someone will ask you why you look that way. We do it because most of us have learned that gloating and bragging aren't typically thought of as desirable or likable traits, (think professional athletes) and so we we know we have to get others to talk about us without being so obvious. And maybe it's something small, or perhaps it's some great act of service or deed done for God that we know He's proud of, not anything at all qualifiable as an ego inflating deed.
The problem here isn't the desire for recognition itself. It is, after all, not always an ego thing but simply one way many of us seek to feel love; through verbal affirmation. Being lifted up by someone else feels great and can change our entire demeanor. Solomon knew this (Prov 16:24). And often times we desire to learn people's reactions to what we've said or done, seeing it as an insight into how God hopefully feels about us.
The issue is one a bit more complicated. We know the obvious problem, seeking self glory is not at all humble and an easy way to derail God's importance in our lives; how it was through His gifts of talents, abilities, and experiences we were even able to do whatever it was we did. But it could also be said that our desire to sit at that seat of honor, to force that recognition, is a testament to how God's grace isn't always sufficient for us, that His knowing what we've done doesn't give us the contentment it should. After all, isn't only when people have felt more secure in what God thinks about them than what those around them do, that we see incredibly inspirational acts of faith being performed?
If you remember Jesus' more direct advice on this subject in Matthew 6, He said it's good if our right hand doesn't even know what our left is doing, otherwise the praise of men is all we'll get. But if we put it in God's hands, He will reward us.
Something I've found very helpful and powerful in my life is the lessons He's taught me on this subject. His answering of those small prayers, ones that seem so insignificant compared to larger issues we plead and petition Him for, is but one of the many aspects of God I love so much, and this is an area I've witnessed this time and time again. When feeling that desire for reconnection, I just put it in His hands. I pray that if He finds it fit to gives some praise or adoration, then please help my heart by doing so. But if just the knowledge that He knows what I've done is to be enough, then I pray that He helps ease my heart and, perhaps more importantly, that He will bind my tongue and prevent me from indulging that inner desire. So many times He's sent me emails, phone calls, and even praise in public, and often it comes at totally unexpected times.
Seeking it for ourselves will always cheapen the experience. When it comes when we simply let our deeds stand for themselves and trust God to take care of the reward part, it will feel all the more warming, encouraging, and very much undeserving. Our humility remains in check, our hearts are uplifted, and we see direct, undeniable ways that God pays attention to the little details in our lives, not just the major issues.
Don't sit at the place of honor and gain only shame. Wait for God, and He will move you to the seat far higher than you'd ever feel comfortable asking for yourself.
Brett "Does this mean I can't talk about how I was in the paper last week? " Hibbler
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