Valiant Deeds

AUG 29 - SEP 4 2010 — VALIANT DEEDS — ISSUE 169
Guest Author Rob Segovia

Surprise Inside This Issue! (It's pretty obvious, so read on and we'll talk about it later)

It’s an honor to be asked to write a Vitamin C, so thank you, Brett, for entrusting one week to me.  Honestly, I was a little afraid to write a Vitamin C when I got an email from Brett asking for people to fill in for him because he always has such insightful things to write every week, but I figured that if Nnamdi Asomugha can fill in for Peter King one week writing Monday Morning Quarterback then I can fill in for Brett one week writing a Vitamin C.  Hopefully you’ll get the daily amount recommended by the USFDA out of this.

I was at my cousin’s wedding this weekend and the DJ put on “The Electric Slide” to kick off the dancing for the reception.  Typically, this is when the people who love dancing immediately jump up and start dancing and then everyone else who was too afraid to start the dance see the very simple dance, remember that they’ve done it before, and join in.  At this reception, however, no one had the nerves to get up to start the dance.  Halfway through the song, after much lamenting by the DJ, two people did the Electric Slide.  Just to prove this was no fluke, when the Dollar Dance started most people sat in their chairs – too afraid or self-involved to give up a few dollars for the new bride and groom (while I chickened out with the crowd during the Electric Slide, I did repent and jump at the chance to pony up the $5 I had to dance with my cousin, only to have my dance with her cut short by some punk kid, who probably got the $1 he paid from his parents).  Everyone loves a good party with lots of fun and dancing, but most are too afraid of looking like a fool to start dancing.  But this is just one small fear in life.

I Samuel 31:11-12

Picture the situation: the Philistines had just routed Israel’s army, and killed the king and his sons.  Now, they were brazenly displaying his dismembered body in their country.  No one in Israel was doing anything about it.  City after city heard the news of what the Philistines did to Saul, and city after city were too afraid to do anything.  That is, until a few valiant men saw the situation, marched all night into enemy territory, and did the honorable thing for their fallen king.

What things are you afraid of doing?  Maybe it’s something as little as denying yourself at a party to dance and help others to have a good time, or maybe it’s something as big as reaching out to that person in the cereal aisle with you.  When do you have an idea of something you could do, but you hold back out of fear or selfishness?  What times have you held back when you had an opportunity to inspire, encourage, love, or serve somebody?  Don’t follow the crowd; be valiant and dance.

Robert “if I see that kid again I’m going to steal his lunch money” Segovia

Artificial

AUG 22 - AUG 28 2010 — ARTIFICIAL — ISSUE 168

As August wraps up, so too does our fun in the sun. The days are growing shorter and our opportunities to get outside and enjoy warmer weather provided by the sun is slipping away like a sock sneaking out of the laundry. Oh, that wonderful sun, which provides many benefits such as Vitamin D for fighting off cancers and other health issues, causing photosynthesis in plants so we can breath and not be left sucking wind every time we chase the Ice Cream truck down the street on one of those hotter summer days, allowing autotrophs to produce crops, giving us food (directly or for us meat lovers — and I don't mean pizza —  from animals that consume those plants) and warming the entire earth so we're not stuck wearing ugly Xmas sweaters every day in a bizarre, never-ending winter.

This means we'll be spending more time inside, under those good 'ol 60watt (or 13watt for you energy savers) light bulbs. Their benefits include being able to see at any time of day in any room of the house, helping you to not stub your toe during late-night raids on the fridge, and giving you ample light to look presentable before someone tells you those are navy pants, not black, and you're now a fashion disaster. Obviously artificial lights are helpful, but they can never do what the sun can. So, even though a long day in the sun can be rough, staying exclusively under artificial lights will only lead to dire results and that happiness brought will be short-lived.

JOHN 3:19

If you've ever taken a good, long look at yourself, or spent time with the human race, you know how true this scripture can ring. Many times in life we are drawn to do wrong, and we feel so bad about it we try to hide it, pretend it didn't happen, brush it off, or just never talk it about again once it's been exposed.

Sometimes I wonder if our lives aren't a lot like the differences between daylight and lamplight. We like to do bad things, but we don't like the guilt and shame that comes with them, so we convince ourselves in our minds we didn't do anything that bad through justifying our actions, seek to surround ourselves with others who do similar things so we're not alone in our deeds, or compare ourselves to others we view as worse, all so we can still feel like we're in the light, even though we know deep down we are not. No matter how much time we spend under even the highest watt light bulbs, and no matter how earth-friendly they are, they will never provide the life-sustaining energy we need from the sun.

But some would protest this, saying that too much sunlight is bad. It gives us yucky wrinkles (juvenile word used on purpose) and can even lead to skin cancer. If you've ever looked into that argument you'll see it's not nearly as straight forward as you would think, and usually it results from, amongst many other things, misuse of sunlight, not over exposure. Under exposure on the other hand, leads directly to far more issues, and the complete absence of sun has obvious and usually tragic effects, facts no one can deny and all too many real-life scenarios confirm.

In our walks with God, we cannot let ourselves be lured into artificial forms of Christianity, into weak, diluted relationships with our Creator, or into lives so numb to the reality of sin we can't even see or feel its tragic effects. We can't let the sometimes tough process of learning how to handle God's Word appropriately, the battles it takes to have real, honest and deep relationships, the endurance we must have to be humble in all circumstances no matter the injustice, and the effort it takes to stay positive in a negative world prevent us from spending time in the real Light.

So go ahead, spend some time in the Son today. I promise you'll feel better.

JOHN 3:20-21

Brett "Before rising in the morning, the sun has to put on Chuck Norris Screen" Hibbler

Restricted

AUG 15 - AUG 21 2010  — RESTRICTED — ISSUE 167

Totally saw Expendables today. I'm not a fan of people talking about movies in case others haven't seen them, so I won't say anymore. However, if you'd like to know my thoughts on it, head over to Review N Chew Category.  You can also head over to Random Web-tacularness if you want to see some really funny Help Wanted signs and two genius commercials from Dodge. Then you can leave comments to prove you went there, and contact everyone you know about how great the posts were. Then you can wash my car, bake me some home-made cookies, and give me an iTunes gift card so I can spoil myself with new music by House Of Heroes. Or you could just ignore this part of the 'C and skip to the meat. I personally think you should at least consider my demands, but I suppose if you want to move ahead, then that's fine too.

We've talked before (well, I've written and you've read would be more accurate) about how Christianity should be joyous; that our souls should be a thing of happiness, not heavy. Jesus said His yolk is "easy" and His burden is "light." (Matt 11:30) And we know Jesus and God are one, and God cannot lie, so that would mean Christ can't either, and thus His words are true. Yet we all know our walk doesn't always seem easy or light. If anything, at times it feels like concrete blocks are shackled to our feet, holding us in place and inhibiting our every move. And it's those moments, and the reasons for those moments, that I feel like we sometimes don't always address in our lives.

There are times when Christianity can become a restrictive armor. It's great at protecting us but limiting our functionality, gracefulness, and depriving us from the joys that unrestricted movement can bring. If you remember David and his preparation for Goliath, he experienced this.

1 SAMUEL 17:38-40

When he wanted to do something for God, others around him gave their best advice and assistance because their hearts were to help him. Unfortunately, they inadvertently tried to make him fight the way they would do it, not allowing David the option of serving God in his own unique way. Ultimately we know that David took off Saul's armor and faced Goliath with the only thing he believed he really needed, God. He'd been successful before (not-to-mention how those ways make Bear Grylls look like Pee-wee Herman) and knew to return to the lessons God had already taught him.

Advice from spiritual people is an amazing asset to life, and remember that David did try Saul's way before concluding that it would be better to challenge Goliath his way. We too need to be humble to advice and to implement good advice into our lives before doing things our way and assuming the advice won't work. But also don't believe you have to always do everything exactly how others are advising. Sometimes God's already shown you how to approach certain challenges, and you need to trust in Him to grant you victory as He has in the past.

Likewise, when dispensing advice, we need to realize not everyone is the same and not everyone can have success using the same method. We need to be like Saul who did not seem to stop David, argue with him, or assume he would fail, even though David chose not to take his armor.

Don't let your faith be hampered because you're trying to fit into a mold that isn't designed for you. But never forget God is always reshaping us, and advice will often help get you there.

Brett "Advice is great, unless it's coming from Tom Noe" Hibbler

Expendable

"Who sent you?!" barks an angry, and still intimidating despite his age, Steve Austin. Stallone, grasping at the rope being used to cut off circulation to his brain, manages to let out some muffled comment about Austin's Mother. Steve, being the gracious villain that he is, lays into Stallone's rib cage as any good thug should in response to such defiance.

"WHO. SENT. YOU." he repeats as the generic lines drip from his lips. This time, Stallone can't reply and points to his throat. "Breath" he chokes out, his face growing weird shades of red.

"Give him air," Austin commands the goon holding Stallone. He complies and Stallone bends over, sucking in precious oxygen once more.

"Tell me who sent you," tries Steve again. And what does Stallone utter in reply? Why an oh-so-clever "Your Hairdresser!"

And that pretty much marks why I consider the movie itself to be sadly self prophesying. Is it possible for a movie that you went into with very low, very achievable hopes for, to let you down? Apparently so. The Expendables, for me, was supposed to be a trip back to the 80s with over-the-top action stars pulling off impossible, but imaginative, action moves while taking out hordes of bad guys without getting so much as a nick. The dialogue was to be sparse, but witty and conveying a true sense of comradery amongst the cast of former and current movie leads. Just watching these guys together was supposed to be a blast in and of itself. The plot only needed to be thick enough to give us a motive and a villain, and the rest of the movie was to be non-stop guns and explosions.

Not-so-much. It was a tad sluggish, the majority of the dialogue was somewhere between genuinely funny and not quite corny enough to be Arnold one-liner funny, leaving you either confused or feeling like you needed to be 13 to appreciate it, and the side stories never gave the characters enough depth to justify taking time away from more crazy, mercenary action. The movie did have some bright moments and the climax was amazingly satisfying. There were spurts of humor, a great scene with Micky Rorke, and some action that was all a fan of this genre could ever want. And in retrospect, recapping some of the movie with fellow watchers made it more satisfying (like Napoleon Dynamite), but still not enough to make it recommendable as a "must see" or even a "get it as soon as it comes out." I'd mark it down as more of a "if it's on, check it out, it's worth watching", but not much more. Stallone's last two efforts, Balboa and Rambo are much better movies despite missing the amazing supporting cast if you're looking for a better trip down nostalgia lane.

Over all, I'll give this movie @@ out of @@@@. It has some great moments and some spot-on rediculousness, but not enough to overcome the dead weight shackling too much of the movie.

Brett "What's a guy got to do get Commando 2 made?" Hibbler

Expendable

"Who sent you?!" barks an angry, and still intimidating despite his age, Steve Austin. Stallone, grasping at the rope being used to cut off circulation to his brain, manages to let out some muffled comment about Austin's Mother. Steve, being the gracious villain that he is, lays into Stallone's rib cage as any good thug should in response to such defiance.

"WHO. SENT. YOU." he repeats as the generic lines drip from his lips. This time, Stallone can't reply and points to his throat. "Breath" he chokes out, his face growing weird shades of red.

"Give him air," Austin commands the goon holding Stallone. He complies and Stallone bends over, sucking in precious oxygen once more.

"Tell me who sent you," tries Steve again. And what does Stallone utter in reply? Why an oh-so-clever "Your Hairdresser!"

And that pretty much marks why I consider the movie itself to be sadly self prophesying. Is it possible for a movie that you went into with very low, very achievable hopes for, to let you down? Apparently so. The Expendables, for me, was supposed to be a trip back to the 80s with over-the-top action stars pulling off impossible, but imaginative, action moves while taking out hordes of bad guys without getting so much as a nick.  The dialogue was to be sparse, but witty and conveying a true sense of comradery amongst the cast of former and current movie leads. Just watching these guys together was supposed to be a blast in and of itself. The plot only needed to be thick enough to give us a motive and a villain, and the rest of the movie was to be non-stop guns and explosions.

Not-so-much. It was a tad sluggish, the majority of the dialogue was somewhere between genuinely funny and not quite corny enough to be Arnold one-liner funny, leaving you either confused or feeling like you needed to be 13 to appreciate it, and the side stories never gave the characters enough depth to justify taking time away from more crazy, mercenary action. The movie did have some bright moments and the climax was amazingly satisfying. There were spurts of humor, a great scene with Micky Rorke, and some action that was all a fan of this genre could ever want. And in retrospect, recapping some of the movie with fellow watchers made it more satisfying (like Napoleon Dynamite), but still not enough to make it recommendable as a "must see" or even a "get it as soon as it comes out." I'd mark it down as more of a "if it's on, check it out, it's worth watching", but not much more. Stallone's last two efforts, Balboa and Rambo are much better movies despite missing the amazing supporting cast if you're looking for a better trip down nostalgia lane.

Over all, I'll give this movie @@ out of @@@@. It has some great moments and some spot-on rediculousness, but not enough to overcome the dead weight shackling too much of the movie.

Brett "What's a guy got to do get Commando 2 made?" Hibbler

Great Ways To Find New Emloyees

These are some Now Hiring signs from around the... Well, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna' say the U.S. because this level of genius meets sarcasm could only come from the good 'ol U. S. of A. Enjoy.

Dodge Is Genius...

... At least in their marketing. Their ability to make good vehicles and financial decisions is still a bit... well... terrible. But, for proof of the former and not the latter, check this out.
Here is a commercial by them before PETA got involved.



And here's the commercial again, only after they heard PETA's anger.

>

Genius. Absolute Genius.

Follow Me

AUG 8 - AUG 14 2010 — FOLLOW ME — ISSUE 166

Ahhhh... You feel that? That's total revitalization. One week in the woods does a body, heart, mind and soul good. If I were a doctor (which I'm not, but if I had just met you on the side of the street I'd like to think I could convince you I was) I'd make all my patients spend at least one week a year deep in the woods. No phones, no TV, no indoor plumbing, just them, nature, and the overwhelming urge to eat at White Castle. So maybe the White Castle thing is my issue, but everything else would do people some good.

Anyways, though Northmen was amazing as always, I'm gonna' hop back a bit to when I was reading the book The Barbarian Way.

JOHN 21:18-22 NIV

Peter, like most of us after hearing something foretold about our future, wants to know about some of the other guys and what will happen to them. It's a fair question, especially given the information he'd just heard. I'd probably want a little comfort knowing I wasn't the only one who was going to meet that same kind of ending, too. Rough times are often easier to take when you know you're not the only one. So he asks about John. What's Jesus' reply? He simply says what happens with John is of no concern, "You follow Me." Undoubtedly, there was some part of Peter that may have thought he got the short end of the stick. Here he's told he's going to be killed in an unwanted fashion, and yet it almost seemed as if John was going to live forever. If Peter had known the reference, he may have muttered a quiet "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" under his breath. John had just won the Mega-Millions while Peter had been mugged on his way to buy his ticket. There is a huge lesson to be learned here, though.

Everyone's walk is not the same.

If we had the choice, every one of us would take a John calling and not a Peter calling. But that's not the way God works. We cannot get bitter, especially to God, because one brother or sister seems to have an easier/better walk than us. We must learn to be content in our walk, to handle our struggles. If we could ask Him directly, His words to us would be the same as they were to Peter: Follow Me.

Follow Christ in the way He is calling you, not in what you want that calling to be; even if you see others who have a calling closer to what you desire. And if you really want to know what Jesus would say if you could ask Him about your calling? I'd be willing to bet He would even want you to be supportive of them in their walk while not forsaking your own. Being a Christian has struggles and trials, regardless of the calling, and we have to be there to support one another.

Walk your walk. Love your brethren. Follow Christ.

Brett "Woods are good. White Castle is good. White Castle in the woods is bad." Hibbler

Follow Me

AUG 8 - AUG 14 2010 — FOLLOW ME — ISSUE 166

Ahhhh... You feel that? That's total revitalization. One week in the woods does a body, heart, mind and soul good. If I were a doctor (which I'm not, but if I had just met you on the side of the street I'd like to think I could convince you I was) I'd make all my patients spend at least one week a year deep in the woods. No phones, no TV, no indoor plumbing, just them, nature, and the overwhelming urge to eat at White Castle. So maybe the White Castle thing is my issue, but everything else would do people some good.

Anyways, though Northmen was amazing as always, I'm gonna' hop back a bit to when I was reading the book The Barbarian Way.

JOHN 21:18-22 NIV

Peter, like most of us after hearing something foretold about our future, wants to know about some of the other guys and what will happen to them. It's a fair question, especially given the information he'd just heard. I'd probably want a little comfort knowing I wasn't the only one who was going to meet that same kind of ending, too. Rough times are often easier to take when you know you're not the only one. So he asks about John. What's Jesus' reply? He simply says what happens with John is of no concern, "You follow Me." Undoubtedly, there was some part of Peter that may have thought he got the short end of the stick. Here he's told he's going to be killed in an unwanted fashion, and yet it almost seemed as if John was going to live forever. If Peter had known the reference, he may have muttered a quiet "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" under his breath. John had just won the Mega-Millions while Peter had been mugged on his way to buy his ticket. There is a huge lesson to be learned here, though.

Everyone's walk is not the same.

If we had the choice, every one of us would take a John calling and not a Peter calling. But that's not the way God works. We cannot get bitter, especially to God, because one brother or sister seems to have an easier/better walk than us. We must learn to be content in our walk, to handle our struggles. If we could ask Him directly, His words to us would be the same as they were to Peter: Follow Me.

Follow Christ in the way He is calling you, not in what you want that calling to be; even if you see others who have a calling closer to what you desire. And if you really want to know what Jesus would say if you could ask Him about your calling? I'd be willing to bet He would even want you to be supportive of them in their walk while not forsaking your own. Being a Christian has struggles and trials, regardless of the calling, and we have to be there to support one another.

Walk your walk. Love your brethren. Follow Christ.

Brett "Woods are good. White Castle is good. White Castle in the woods is bad." Hibbler

Great Ways To Find New Emloyees

These are some Now Hiring signs from around the... Well, I'm not really sure. I'm gonna' say the U.S. because this level of genius meets sarcasm could only come from the good 'ol U. S. of A. Enjoy.

A Light Theory

AUG 1 - AUG 7 2010 — A LIGHT THEORY — ISSUE 165

WARNING! This issue contains learning. Hide the children.

Have you ever noticed the hordes of bugs around lights at night? (For those that have lived near the water and seen May Flies, you've seen a frenzy of bugs swarming to the lights in numbers greater than people showing up to Denny's for a free Grand Slam breakfast. Which group is more civil is still to be determined.) Undoubtedly, we've all noticed this phenomena. Surprisingly, though, there isn't an exact reason for why bugs do this.

One theory involves phototaxis, or basically an attraction to light. They believe some nocturnal insects will use light (the moon ideally) for navigation. If they use the distant moon as a guide, their wings can beat at the same speed to keep them on track and straight because the light reaches their eyes evenly. But artificial lights throw off their perception, making the light seem stronger in one eye which causes them to have one wing beat faster to "straighten" their alignment. Obviously that doesn't work very well if they're too close to the light, so they either fly in circles constantly trying to straighten out, or they finally get straight and smack into the light.

Other theories involve their poor eyesight (the longer the antenna the worse their vision), and so they stay near the light so they can see prey better and hopefully survive longer. Another is that bugs are attracted to the darkness, and the area around the light seems the darkest, but when they get close they get disoriented by the light.

Some of you are fascinated with this news, others have fallen asleep, some are thinking about their own theory — "They're bugs, who cares?" — and the rest are trying to figure out where I'm going with this. I wonder, though, is the fact that I'm dragging it out bugging you? (Yes, that pun was intentional. I'm leaving for a week and I figure you'll have forgotten it by the time I return). Anyways, here's the point:

Regardless of the reason, it's pretty obvious light attracts visitors in darkness.

MATTHEW 5:14-16 NIV

Last week we reflected on whether Christ's teachings were so prevalent in our life that others came to us seeking to know more about God. And if our light is bright enough, we will have guests. Perhaps just as important as being a light, though, is another question: Are you equipped to help them? Are you prepared with scripture and Godly wisdom, or will you have to rely on vague generalities and Christian "concepts"? Having people take notice of your faith is great, but if you can't help them once they approach, you've forgotten the last part of the great commission, "teach them His commands." Like a bug seeking to use the light — you— as a guide, they suddenly become disoriented once they get too close, and it results in chaotic and pointless fluttering, injury, or death.

Let's be obvious examples to those around us, let's be lights in this dark world. But let us not forget to be properly equipped when our light brings guests.

Brett "I bet at least one of you will share those theories with others the next time you're out at night and see some bugs" Hibbler

A Light Theory

AUG 1 - AUG 7 2010 — A LIGHT THEORY — ISSUE 165

WARNING! This issue contains learning. Hide the children.

Have you ever noticed the hordes of bugs around lights at night? (For those that have lived near the water and seen May Flies, you've seen a frenzy of bugs swarming to the lights in numbers greater than people showing up to Denny's for a free Grand Slam breakfast. Which group is more civil is still to be determined.) Undoubtedly, we've all noticed this phenomena. Surprisingly, though, there isn't an exact reason for why bugs do this.

One theory involves phototaxis, or basically an attraction to light. They believe some nocturnal insects will use light (the moon ideally) for navigation. If they use the distant moon as a guide, their wings can beat at the same speed to keep them on track and straight because the light reaches their eyes evenly. But artificial lights throw off their perception, making the light seem stronger in one eye which causes them to have one wing beat faster to "straighten" their alignment. Obviously that doesn't work very well if they're too close to the light, so they either fly in circles constantly trying to straighten out, or they finally get straight and smack into the light.

Other theories involve their poor eyesight (the longer the antenna the worse their vision), and so they stay near the light so they can see prey better and hopefully survive longer. Another is that bugs are attracted to the darkness, and the area around the light seems the darkest, but when they get close they get disoriented by the light.

Some of you are fascinated with this news, others have fallen asleep, some are thinking about their own theory — "They're bugs, who cares?" — and the rest are trying to figure out where I'm going with this. I wonder, though, is the fact that I'm dragging it out bugging you? (Yes, that pun was intentional. I'm leaving for a week and I figure you'll have forgotten it by the time I return). Anyways, here's the point:

Regardless of the reason, it's pretty obvious light attracts visitors in darkness.

MATTHEW 5:14-16 NIV

Last week we reflected on whether Christ's teachings were so prevalent in our life that others came to us seeking to know more about God. And if our light is bright enough, we will have guests. Perhaps just as important as being a light, though, is another question: Are you equipped to help them? Are you prepared with scripture and Godly wisdom, or will you have to rely on vague generalities and Christian "concepts"? Having people take notice of your faith is great, but if you can't help them once they approach, you've forgotten the last part of the great commission, "teach them His commands." Like a bug seeking to use the light — you— as a guide, they suddenly become disoriented once they get too close, and it results in chaotic and pointless fluttering, injury, or death.

Let's be obvious examples to those around us, let's be lights in this dark world. But let us not forget to be properly equipped when our light brings guests.

Brett "I bet at least one of you will share those theories with others the next time you're out at night and see some bugs" Hibbler